Getting the ADA Accommodations You Deserve as a Neurodivergent or Disabled Professional
Across the country, federal protections are wobbling — voting rights weakened, healthcare threatened, disability safeguards challenged. The ground feels unstable, but losing trust in institutions doesn’t mean losing your power. Even when national systems falter, you still have places to hold the line in your everyday life, especially at work.
The tactic is the same everywhere: destabilize people, then blame them for struggling. Politically, it looks like stripping healthcare. In workplaces, it appears as delayed ADA accommodations, “lost” paperwork, or a manager who suddenly goes silent the moment you mention chronic illness, trauma, or neurodivergence.
Your needs aren’t the problem. Power dynamics are. Unstable workers are easier to silence. Exhausted people are easier to control. Survival mode makes it harder to imagine a better job, ask better questions, or challenge unfair behavior.
But none of this means you’re powerless. With the right education and self-protection tools, you can stay steady, supported, and resourced — without shrinking yourself or abandoning your needs — even inside systems that benefit when you run on empty.
Know Your Rights — Even If You Never Plan to “Fight”
When you understand your rights, your nervous system stops begging for permission and starts standing on solid ground. You don’t need to use these laws to benefit from knowing them.
When you know where the guardrails are, you stop internalizing behavior that is actually illegal. Knowing your rights doesn’t mean you have to fight. But it means you’re no longer navigating your workplace on your own.
In the US, you’re federally protected:
ADA: An Overview of the Americans With Disabilities Act: You are legally entitled to reasonable accommodations for disabilities, chronic conditions, neurodivergence, and mental health needs.
ADA: Mental Health Accommodation Rights: Conditions like ADHD, PTSD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, and autism are covered under the ADA — you only need to show impact, not severity.
Local protections may be stronger and quicker than federal protections.
To understand where to complain about denied accommodations, you can search for your state along with “ADA” or “disability”. Also, here is a 2024 link from Bloomberg Law on state information.
For those in New York:
New York City has some of the strongest disability protections in the country under the NYC Human Rights Law (NYCHRL). It also has a lower threshold for proving discrimination than the federal ADA. It covers: Disabilities, Pregnancy, Menopause, Caregiving, Mental Health, Neurodivergence, etc.
NYC Commission on Human Rights (CCHR): This is the local agency for NYC residents. They investigate workplace discrimination, retaliation, failure to accommodate, harassment, and hostile work environments. They are powerful, responsive, and worker-protective. They investigate employers, compel mediation, call the employer directly, issue penalties, order accommodation, and protect you from retaliation. They are often quicker than other avenues.
File a complaint online
Phone: 212-416-0197
NYC Office: 22 Reade Street, New York, NY 10007
New York State Division of Human Rights (NYSDHR): If the issue is bigger than your workplace or involves a statewide employer, you can also file with the state.
File a complaint online
Phone: 1-888-392-3644
NYC Office: 55 Hanson Place, Brooklyn, NY 11217
EEOC New York District Office. If you want federal-level protection or expect your case to escalate.
Start an inquiry online
Phone: 1-800-669-4000
NYC Office: 33 Whitehall Street, 5th Floor, New York, NY 10004
Navigate Accomodations Without Losing Your Power
I wish every workplace responded to accommodations with ease and compassion. But many don’t. And that means even your most legitimate needs can end up feeling like a negotiation you never wanted to have — especially when your nervous system is already working overtime.
Clients often come to me whispering:
“Is this too much to ask?”
“Will they think I’m being difficult?”
“Am I asking for special treatment?”
No. You’re asking for the conditions your brain and body require to function. Quiet isn’t a luxury. Flexibility isn’t indulgent. Predictable communication isn’t “extra.” These are the basics of a regulated nervous system, which is the foundation of good work. If it feels like a battle, it’s because the system is underdeveloped — not because your need is questionable.
What the Interactive Process Actually Means: Under the ADA, accommodations are not a one-time request. They’re a collaborative, ongoing conversation between you and the employer. Both sides are expected to exchange information, explore options, and find something that works. It’s not supposed to be adversarial, dismissive, or “yes or no.” The law literally requires employers to engage, not shut you down. Think of it as co-designing the conditions for your success, not pleading for exceptions.
Here’s what the interactive process looks like in practice:
You explain what support you need (not your diagnosis).
You get a basic note from your doctor per the ADA.
They ask questions to understand functional impact.
Together, you explore reasonable options — yours and theirs.
You should be able to revisit if your needs or job tasks change.
What your doctor does NOT need to provide: Your doctor is not required to share your medical chart, diagnosis, treatment plan, medications, prognosis, symptom history, trauma background, or any “proof” of disability severity. The ADA protects your medical privacy. All they need to confirm is that you’re under their care for a medical condition that creates functional limitations and that accommodations are necessary for you to work safely and effectively. They also do not need to complete extensive paperwork or choose your accommodations for you — employers often use that tactic to delay, intimidate, or block access to support.
Frame your requests to keep your dignity intact:
Instead of: “Would it be possible for me to get noise-canceling headphones?”
Try: “For me to perform at the level you hired me for, I need noise reduction support.”
One is permission-seeking. The other is collaborative. Both are polite. Only one protects your power.
Resources:
JAN: Workplace Accommodation Toolkit: This is helpful for those requesting it as well as HR.
JAN: A to Z of Disabilities and Accommodations: Accommodations by diagnosis, disability, and symptom.
JAN: Requests for Medical Documentation: What medical documentation an employer may request and not request.
JAN: Situations and Solutions Finder: Examples of accommodations made by real JAN customers.
ACL: Disability Rights Programs & Policy Agencies: State list of where to go for free legal help.
Disability Resources By State: This is a pretty comprehensive list of resources to bookmark.
Build in Daily Nervous System Stabilization
If the system pushes you into chaos, your counter-move is inner steadiness.
Not performative resilience. Real regulation. Stability makes you harder to manipulate.
Build a nervous system stabilization toolbox:
Document everything when it happens to get it out of your nervous system
Have a list of one-minute or less grounding exercises
Take several 15+ minute breaks away from screens and other triggers
Plan a variety of transition rituals after work (that don’t involve substances)
Use Clean Boundaries to Protect Yourself
Your boundaries don’t just protect your energy — they protect your longevity. Employees who set clear boundaries are 2.5 times more likely to report sustained performance and lower burnout (McKinsey, 2023).
Boundaries don’t need to be spicy speeches. They simply need to end the circular conversation so you can get back to your actual work. No over-explaining. No apologizing. Just your bottom lines.
Keep them simple, steady, and unremarkable:
• “I won’t be available then.”
• “I can take this on when X is complete.”
• “I need more clarity before committing.”
• “That schedule won’t work for me. Here’s what will.”
Build Allies Before You Need Them
Power isolates people. Don’t let it isolate you. You don’t need an army. You need a constellation — small, steady points of connection that remind you you’re not walking this workplace alone. People who see you clearly, support your humanity, and won’t let you disappear inside a system that benefits from your silence.
And this isn’t just feel-good advice. It’s strategic. Employees with even one trusted ally at work are 66 percent less likely to experience burnout and significantly more likely to speak up when something is wrong. Connection literally protects your nervous system.
Ways to build a support web:
• Therapists and coaches — regulated brains make clearer decisions.
• Mentors outside the company — unbiased senior guidance is gold.
• Online disability and ND communities — peeps who understand your terrain.
• Colleagues who value fairness — even one is enough to shift your sense of safety.
What If You’re Being Denied as HR or a Senior Leader?
This is the quiet crisis no one names out loud: the moment you ask for accommodations, the process suddenly gets “complicated.” Deadlines blur, emails vanish, and people who recite policy for a living develop selective memory. The cruelty is unmistakable — the system expects you to uphold rights it won’t extend to you.
But your job title doesn’t erase your protection. HR professionals and senior leaders are fully covered under ADA, FMLA, and disability laws. When you’re responsible for supporting others, it’s especially destabilizing to watch the very system you maintain fail you.
Still, your rights don’t shrink because you carry authority. You’re a person with needs, and you deserve the same dignity and support you’ve always advocated for.
Here’s how to protect yourself without burning bridges or self-sacrificing:
Make the Request Formal — and Put It in Writing: Don’t rely on hallway conversations or verbal chats with colleagues. Use a structured request so no one can claim confusion later. JAN has a template resource in their toolkit.
Document Delays, Deferrals, or Sudden “Policy Questions”: There is a big chance you will get stonewalled in subtle ways. You’re not being dramatic — you’re witnessing avoidance. Keep a clear log of: Dates, who responded and how, and the impact on your work. Even if you are not building a legal case, you have it ready if you want to. And you also have clarity for yourself.
Loop in the Appropriate Internal Authority: You are not expected to manage your own accommodation. For HR, that might mean: your direct manager or skip manager, a more senior or neutral HR employee, legal or compliance, and/or an external HRBP assigned to your case. For senior leaders, it might mean: your HR business partner, another executive, and/or the Board’s HR committee (yes, that exists). If you are HR, do not self-administer your own accommodation process. That’s a conflict of interest and exposes the company to liability.
Quietly Get External Support Early: You don’t have to file a complaint. Sometimes you just need clarity and backup. You can seek confidential guidance from the National Employment Lawyers Association or the EEOC Inquiry Process (note: it can take months for an EEOC appointment). These inquiries do not notify your employer. You’re gathering information, not taking action.
Your Rights Are Not Up for Debate
Whether you’re neurodivergent, chronically ill, disabled, healing trauma, navigating menopause, caring for others, or simply moving through the world with a human nervous system — none of this makes you “less capable” or “less professional.” It makes you real.
You deserve a workplace that doesn’t punish you for having a body.
You deserve accommodations without shame or delay.
You deserve safety from retaliation and leaders who prioritize your well-being over your performance optics.
And until you land in a workplace that lives up to that standard, you deserve to be fully resourced — emotionally steady, legally informed, and practically supported — so you never confuse someone else’s limitations for your own worth.
Your needs are not a burden.
Your voice is not negotiable.
And your humanity is allowed to take up space, even in systems that haven’t caught up yet.
About the Author
Minal Kamlani is a trauma-informed ADHD recovery coach based in NYC. She works with neurodivergent adults in recovery from trauma, burnout, and survival-based coping. Her coaching blends structure and nervous system awareness to help clients reclaim function—without shame or perfectionism. Learn more at Higher Vibes Coaching.